Gurges

­I get Gurges. 

Game urges. 

I get inclination to play games that I've played and completed before. Nothing really remarkable about that right? 

However, I've noticed that I want to play the same games around the same time I did the year before. Recently, it's been Mass Effect 3. But you know you can't just play 3, you have to go through them all to get to 3. 

Thanks to a little social media app thingy it tells me I had the same desire to indulge myself with Femshep the same time the year before and the year before that. Is there anything to this? Does anyone else go through the desire to play games the same time of year? I wonder if it's because we invested so much time in a new game when it was fresh and glorious our brains remember "hey you felt really good this time last year, thanks to that new gaming experience, maybe you should play it again so we get that same rush again". 

Shuggah! /Pic Creds

I’m not a Scientist nor am I very technical so forgive me for any mistakes I may make in these next few sections. Most of this was not common knowledge to me before I started writing.

I decided to look in to why this may be the case and wondered if it’s something to do with how your body responds to stimuli from its environment, like in Seasonal Affective Disorder, and how your brain records that experience. There is such a phrase as ‘Body Chemistry Memory’ or 'Cellular Memory' which is somewhat on the Skepticism list and I feel it doesn't quite capture what I am trying to define/answer. Chemical reactions don’t “remember” how to react, they just respond depending upon the factors involved. When those same conditions are met each time the response would be the same right?

 In psychology we are taught that through experience we develop schema, a kind of framework in which we use each time we encounter that situation. (Enter a Library= must be silent. Wait for green man to cross the road otherwise you’ll die etc). That is what is stored in our brain, so, now bare with me here, when our bodies react to our environment they would produce a physiological and psychological response simultaneously that the brain retains, yes? So when those conditions occur again our brain recalls that information and gives the same response “oh hey the last time this happened we responded like this so that means we have to respond in the same way” now it does this regardless whether we responded to the experience in a positive or negative way. I’d imagine similar to SAD when the body is overwhelmed by certain environmental conditions that it doesn't produce the appropriate response. 

How does this relate to games? Haad on man, I’m getting there!

KA-ME-HA-ME-CONTRA! /Pic Creds

Countless studies have been conducted on the effects of video games on behaviour but I only found a few actually relating to brain chemistry. Mostly, researchers have focused upon negative stimuli presented by games, i.e violence and how that affects the person afterwards. In one study, that has been cited in various places, but the original source from a Japanese news website eludes me, monitored the Beta waves of folks who don’t play videogames (they exist!) and people who play them an awful lot (like me and you). Beta waves indicate frontal lobe activity which is responsible for emotions and creativity. Seems us gamers have zero beta waves and no signs of our brains in a resting mode while we are playing games and this doesn't change or revert to a “normal” level after the game is switched off. The original researcher suggested this is the reason people who play videogames for long periods of time are prone to personality and anti-social behaviour. Another writer talking about this study mentioned the possibility that the brain perceives the games as real hence the behavioural changes and the brain not being in a “rested” mode so playing games to relax is simply not the case where our brains are concerned! The latter I agree with, however the original study, and many others like it, didn't measure the participants’ predisposition to anti-social behaviour or anxiety or even to violent behaviour. They would have had to monitor those who never played videogames and ask them to gradually increase the hours of game time and record brainwaves to really say if it was the game that contributed to the behavioural changes.

SCIENCE! /Pic Creds

Most videogame research is based around the effects of violence and mature content in games and how that possibly contributes to a person being violent themselves. We all know by now that ALL media exposes us to these same things every day. Videogames are blamed for desensitising people to the violence of war and criminal acts but we are seeing more and more of these images being broadcast by the news and in some cases glorified by other media. They used to block out images of dead children and bloody missing limbs you know. They don’t now. That shit sells. It’s constantly happening around the world and we are shown these images all the time it’s almost becoming the norm.

I did find a gem of an article (while finding the above pictures so it's the same link) about the BENEFITS of gaming to help treat psychological disorders as our brains are “trained” to grow bigger during play. Best quote:-


“These brain regions are involved in functions such as spatial navigation, memory formation, strategic planning and fine motor skills of the hands. Increasingly, the level of connectivity between brain areas is being linked to higher intelligence and consciousness.”- Christopher Bergland 2013

You guys and read more here and the source is here (journal link) if you have access to the journal. I don’t so I’m a little disappointed I can’t read the full thing.

What I can’t seem to find is anything relating to videogames and Happy emotional responses. I suppose because that subject is not in vogue and parents and officials want something to blame for anti-social and pathological teenagers.

Clicky for Snippet on one such study/ Pic Creds same source.

If our brains perceive the game as a real experience and increases fear, anxiety and paranoia when playing violent/war/horror/shooters that continues to last after the game has been switched off then surely it would mean that games that make you feel happy/elated/inspired/successful should also continue to last after the game is switched off?

Why would the brain, if it perceives the game as a real experience, want to experience it again? Especially since most games are a creator driven narrative that the player can’t change the outcome. Even the desire to play those violent war/shooter games constantly, why would the brain want to experience what is essentially a traumatic experience?

Apart from when this happened. Sorry Moira/ Pic Creds: Me!

Where does the desire to play the game again possibly come from? A basic response to seasonal associations? Not necessarily to do with the seasons in the weather sense, but our psychological associations to a period of time in our lives. Again, studies showing the negatives and connections to Seasonal Disorders (Winter and Suicide for example clicky) but not much on positive seasonal associations. Maybe because it’s not much of a social phenomenon to warrant investigation?

Buy ALL THE THINGS!!! /Pic Creds

Steam Summer Sales, Big Summer releases, Publisher and Dev conventions, Big Christmas releases, highly anticipated titles, teaser Downloadable Content, Half-Life 3?! To us gamers, these are positive seasonal associations. That rush of excitement to play a new release after waiting so long (I’m looking at you Mass Effect 3), that level of elation continues as you play the game which doesn't dissipate after you switch it off. Your brain takes that experience, if we assume it perceived the game as real, and produces a physiological and psychological response. Remember that from earlier? I said that a while back… So even though the game came out a few years ago my body and brain retain that experience and want to repeat it.        

The answer to this, I think, it is because our brains are addicted to their own juices.

Jooocie/ Gif creds

This concept is not new in relation to videogames. The prime framework of gaming addiction theory is the role of endorphin's in gamers. I know too well the consequences of that fine line of enjoyment leading to consumption. When getting to that next level is the briefest euphoria and it all but consumes you like quicksand and you’ll spend money and time to keep your head up just to feel that rush again, but it gets fainter and fainter each time. Until it consumes your life or even takes your life, in extreme cases.

I often liken it to a hollow orgasm. Your 4^th never quite feels like your first, huh? Even for guys I’d imagine it feels similar. That’s the only metaphor I can think of to describe what it’s like, well for me anyway. 

I've tried to find research that wasn't related to the after effects or negativity that surrounds this topic but it seems not many have picked up on this fact that the target groups in these studies are addicted to the chemical produced by the brain as a result of playing instead they focus/blame the game itself. As I said earlier it’s still “in vogue” to use videogames as the scapegoat to explain away behavioural problems in young people. 

It seems fellow gamers and bloggers know what I’m talking about all too well as they have quoted the same guy (clicky) but the academics who study us just don’t want to broach the subject, or maybe they've tried to and their work has been “held back” by the publishers? Or I just can’t find it?

Idunnolol /Pic Creds

I have explored some answers to my questions but I’m still not fulfilled.

I guess some things I've found can explain why I play games repeatedly but not the same game especially where I cannot change the outcome of the narrative or explain why I feel the urge to play it around the same time of year?

I have discovered that it’s not only Endorphin we’re addicted to but a few of its friends too:-

The Happy Chemicals join your party!

Dopamine, the guy who makes you want that next level, the Warrior,

Serotonin, the guy who makes the imagined real and the real imagined, the Mage,

Oxytocin, the guy who makes you emotionally invested, Priest,

And lest we forget;

Endorphin, the guy who makes you euphoric and numb, the Bard.

end. /Pic Creds

Daily snippet: Voyeurism

According to Blogger I have 1200 page views since I started up last year! 

Yay thanks for the visiting folks!

Yet, I've only had about 5 new subs/tweeters/likers in that time.

Such is the nature of the Internet. And blogging for that matter. Putting personal and private thoughts words out into the void of the Web and the only reciprocation is the knowledge you have been "viewed". 

Dem chunes!

Heyo!

Been a long ass time so let's get our jig on!

I really enjoy the Mass Effect 3 soundtrack probably more than I should. So much emotional investment in that game and they upset a lot of people but the music from that game is AMAZING! I can't listen to End Once and For All without bubbling up and urging the imaginary Normandy SR-2 to make it past that shock wave! I personally think it's the Best Music Score for a Game (so far) ever! 

Despite my bias I asked some fellow Gamers what they thought was the Best Musical Score for a Game and they gave me a list:

Quake 2
Streets of Rage 2
Kingdom Hearts
Halo
Quake
All Final Fantasy Final Boss Themes (not really a soundtrack but included all the same)
Megaman X

*So Far Streets of Rage 2 is Winning!*** 

It's got Heart and Soul and some Serious Jams man! 
I'm going to listen to them all and compile a top 5. If you have any suggestions please feel free to comment or send me a message!

Check oot the Faceybook

Daily Snippet: Chargin' mah Tank!

So every night since Boxing Day a small group of friends and I have been staying up very late to save the world from Zombies...

I, like many many people now have Left 4 Dead 2 in my Steam Library. It's rather good! Jeebus it's scary and fun and induces so much panic-rage in me I fear that *when* the Zombie infestation happens T'll try my best to be a good Zombie because I'll most likely not last as a survivor!

Nalabox in Complicated Relationship with: Skyrim

So in my first part of reviewing Skyrim I unashamedly told you all to ignore the glitches and holes and that weird sense of "loss" from the main story because overall the game was bloody beautiful and I hadn't finished it.

I got the game back and decided to stick to the main story and not go spelunking for loot, trolls or skeleton keys...oooh...

Two hours later...

Pic: guiadoskyrim.webrok.com

I stubbornly stuck to the main story and had it finished in considerably less time than I thought I would. So If I hadn't taken my time to explore, fall into traps or got married, my Brother would have had it back in one weekend. Kind disappointing to realize this as I could have missed out on all that content that I fell in love with, would have been a completely different blog entry. Makes you consider taking your time on other things you very well could be missing out on.

I didn't pick a side in the Civil War as I didn't want my gameplay to be restricted plus neither side really elicited a strong enough emotional response to WANT to join their cause.

                           Seems the Jarl of Whiterun has been eliciting a different kind of response...

www.nexusmods.com

The game did that weird thing where you fight the final boss guy but not really. To be honest it should have ended right there on top of the Throat of the World where you started your journey of the Voice, maybe included more rifty time travel?  Instead you don't quite defeat him so you've got to go out and be a stronger Saiyan or catch all your Pokemons and chase after him in the afterlife, the usual stuff. 

Thing is, you to go Sovngarde. THE most spectacular world environment and magnificent work of art and splendor. And the Hall of Valor. Walking amongst Skyrim's Mighty Heroes who have fallen in glorious battle! Which the final final battle is unfortunately nothing like that. Not even song worthy. Not even an audience with Shor worthy. As soon as the story moves on the whole place shuts itself up and offers you limited dialogue with any fellows that have made the journey before you. They said it was impossible! Bringing an end to The End but I did it and they shut their doors in my face. I'm swept up and dumped on my arse on the Mountain and only the Dragons know the Truth.

I started out loving this game and it has made me laugh, cry, steal, weep and kill for it. I have poured myself into it and it just pooped me out and didn't flush...

www.nexusmods.com

Next Time: A little Festive Jeer!

Bloggerable Death

I spend a good portion of my time on the internet. Connected to close personal networks that filter and share various snippets of what’s happening “out there”. Events that have happened and happening and happen contain so much information flooding our senses I wonder how much of it we truly retain? I bring this up because I enjoy reading blogs, fresh delicious information I can consume on the go! Yet I forgot that having a blog means I have to create the content. I have so many words stored up from social sharing and news and listening that it didn't occur to me to filter it back to the “out there” where it first came from.

(Pic from: http://www.dansadlier.com/2011/05/information-vs-communication/ )

Even an instant creative idea takes times to burst forth out from your brain and out of your mouth or on paper. I spent some time looking at other people’s blogs and found that it seems to no longer have that gusto it once had. Take Blogger, what I’m using now, as an example. I enjoy hitting that “next blog” button to see what other voices have to say out there and I find about 12 out of 20 have been abandoned. Some in favour of different blog mediums like WordPress or fully fledged websites but mostly just abandoned. The rest I found are spiritually focused located in the States or Family blogs or just posting-stuff-from-the-internet blogs ( In Portuguese! ).

I looked into other blog mediums to see what they offered in this age of microblogging of Twitter and Facebook and whatever else. Let’s be honest if there is a third or even sixth they wouldn’t have as much integration in our lives. Tough competition where creativity is the epitome of instant gratification sent forth into the world before you have time to read it back to yourself and realise what you just posted was the most funniest/stupidest/racist/philosophical/incriminating thing you ever said. TheNextWeb already had this idea a few months ago it seems and done all my work for me in this nifty pros and cons list:

From TheNextWeb

Welcome back! Quick rundown if you didn’t bother to read all of that we have the likes of WordPress, Tumblr, Posatch.io, Google+, SquareSpace and even Facebook Notes are getting in on the action. The only thing I didn’t like about many of these is that I would have to join up just to discover new voices. I can’t be arsed to do that. Apart from Posatch.io, I couldn’t see what kind of layouts and level of customisation I could be getting over the one I’m currently using. Someone design me a blog roulette type randomizer so I don’t have to sign up to all these websites!

I don’t think blogging is dying as such it’s just there are so many of us out there and soo much content to get through. It’s mostly likely people who read your blogs are bloggers themselves and those who hungry for that instant hit, probably don’t bother reading your blogs. Those that use both microblogging and blogging blogging will possibly keep up with both? Busy peoples!

I resorted to my old past time “Next Blog” clicky and I shall leave you with some gems:

http://countrywithoutborders.blogspot.co.uk – The musings of an artsy Jewish woman

http://aliceingalaxyland.blogspot.co.uk – Astrology and Weird

http://notdadadventures.blogspot.co.uk –Scottish Pirate turned Parental Role Model?

Next Time: I finally finished SKYRIM! But is it still in the NalaLoves box?

Nalabox Loves: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

"Dovahkiin"

Dragonborn. A title that commands respect and emanates power beyond any mortal imagining.

Skyrim is the next chapter in the history of Tamriel which has spanned across four previous main story games, extra content, spin off's and eventually as of 2013 an Massively Multiplayer Online Game; The Elder Scrolls Online. That's nearly 18 years of development and fantastic storytelling. Thank you Bethesda :) 

Your humble beginnings are unknown in the prologue to the game. All you do know is your being carted off to the Helgen outpost as Imperial Soldiers have captured Ulfric Stormcloak, the rebel leader, so it's a beheading for him and unfortunately you too for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not going well for you so far huh? It gets even worse. As Ulfric comes closer to meeting the edge of the executioners axe a giant mythical beast of scale and fire, once thought to be destroyed many centuries ago, swoops down and attacks the people of Helgen: allowing Ulfric and yourself to escape. Once finally out of the now burning Helgen you are free to roam the wild snowy landscape that is Skyrim.

Bethesda are very experienced at making games where the player can become whom ever he/she likes and choose which ever path it takes to get there and this game is no exception. There are main story quests to follow in which you discover you are Dragonborn and learning powerful Tha'ums which is the language of the Dragons by absorbing their souls, their knowledge. 

A bag of bones

You can also decide to join either the Imperial Soldiers fighting for the Empire or the natives of Skyrim the rebellious Stormcloaks who are fighting against the Empire and the right to worship Talos as a God, even though he was a normal dude, but an hero to all of Skyrim. This upsets the Thalmor Elves, who from previous instalments of the Elder Scrolls are the bad guys. I haven't chosen a side yet as I see the benefit to being able to walk into every town and not get attacked by one faction or the other. Also, I find the religious war excuse, as just exactly that. I'm sure the story is more complicated than that considering Ulfric Stormcloak killed the High King of Skyrim and I'm guessing the Empire didn't like that. 

This game also distracts you from the main story with a great many side quests. Oh wow so many times I promised myself I'd just quickly run back to my house in Whiterun, sell my stuff and oooh what's this symbol on the map? A cave? okay it'll only take 10 mins. Oh there's a guy inside and poof there goes an hour. It is incredibly engaging. I must have completed over 50 sidequests plus many miscellaneous quests on top of that but only actually done about 20% of the main story. But that's the great thing about it, that's what this game was made for. For you to do whatever the hell you like!  It has got to the point now where I'm actually slightly displaced from the story and enjoying myself more getting to know the people and secret organisations within Skyrim.

I remember from playing Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion there were guilds and factions you could join to earn extra monies and perks. Like reduced bounty, with the Thieves Guild, when you got caught in a house you may or may not have had permission to be in. Skyrim is no different, however has greatly improved the development and value of being a member of these guilds and factions. You can follow main plot quests specifically for your chosen trade that not only rewards you with perks, unique gear and special life changing abilities but also gives you a connection with the characters involved due to brilliant intricate storytelling. I've had more fun with the Thieves Guild and Companions quest lines than I have the main story so far. 

I was always one head in front of him!

The combat system allows the player to engage with foes from a distance using ranged weapons and magic or with the use of one-handed or two handed weapons and for those who just like to give the beasties a right ol' whollop the best weapon of all: Your fists. Bosh!

The Dragon Shouts learned from Dragon Word Walls or certain NPC's are a form of supporting magic as they can have area effect as well as long range capabilities and can be used for non-combat too. Such as the Become Ethereal you can walk through solid objects, like doors, and have a peek or avoid detection if your somewhere you shouldn't be. The most used one is probably Unrelenting Force as it can be very effective for knocking Dragons out of the sky, but have your weapons ready, once they get up boy are they pissed.

What's great about which ever weapon you choose, you are not limited to that particular style. Yes most of your skill points will be in two-handed but sometimes the situation calls for a less messy approach shall we say? Like an inconvenient arrow to the knee? You don't need to be a prolific archer to down a guard from 100 yards away. Unlike some games where once you've chosen to be a Rogue that's it. All you can use is daggers and crossbows.

I have to say I'm not a magic user per se, I'm in the "two-handed battleaxe" category so I can't really comment on the magic system. But from what I have had to use (quest related) I've found it really easy to get a grasp of (hur hur) and in that classic Elder Scrolls way; the more you use something the better it becomes so if throwing a fiery ball (or balls; duel wield baby!) of doom is your thing then go for it! Me? I like to cleave stuff in half and chop heads. For the HORDE!!! wait...wrong game. 

As you know I love Fallout 3 and the transition from playing that combat system and in that environment to this one wasn't that difficult. I like that they play kind of similar you just hand in your lasers and steampunk attire for Skyforge Steel and Dragon Scale Armour. Yes, you don't need the VAT system here for easy targeting but the combat isn't that difficult to handle to need something like that. I LIKE that Bethesda have made an entirely different game to Fallout and not been lazy about using the same engine and their own stuff to make it awesome and truly unique gaming experience, unlike BioWare: the menus and gameplay for Mass Effect 2 was EXACTLY the same for Dragon Age 2. Lazy.

Frost the Fearless

Firstly, I apologise for the quality of the picture. I don't have everything set up to take stills or record from my Xbox to the laptop so when stuff randonly happens, which is frequently in Skyrim I've noticed; I grab my mobile phone to take pics with. Secondly, my horse is awesome!

I've hired and fired many of the companions you can get to accompany you throughout Skyrim. Some don't cost gold but will make sure you travel to the arse end of no where to get something for them before they'll even think about putting their coats on let alone take an arrow to the..wait already made that joke. But by damn Frost the Fearless Steed has never let me down. Thus far he's the best companion I've had on account that He doesn't run away, glitch, make my presence known, die instantly, doesn't have the IQ of a fart and best of all he was completely FREE. He may or may not have been illegally acquired but since he was technically stolen by someone else doesn't show up as Stolen when he came into my possession. Crime free. Plus he kills Dragons. He's actually better than me too :)
 You know I've read about the possible glitches regarding him running away or just not spawning when you fast travel but he's the only travel companion that hasn't glitched on me in one way or another. He just doesn't die either. Maybe that in itself is a glitch but it's a damn good one for a change! 

I've stuck with Jenessa the Dunmer Mercenary for most of the game, she's not the best I hear but she's the better from the ones I've come across so far. Some puzzles in the ruins you can blunder into require you to have a companion to stand on pressure plates while you pull a lever etc. However, I have found some will just walk  over the very apparent traps and set them off when you have gone to a great deal of care (and time) to avoid. (Lydia; IQ of a fart). The AI of your followers could be greatly improved or a least the instructions you can give them apart from Attack, Stay, Bugger off, and "here carry my stuff!". It would also be helpful if they stayed a certain distance from you at all times especially when sneaking. Many times Aranea the Priestess of Azura didn't even bother going into sneak mode and often didn't actually follow me at all. It is good in some way when a companion is morally objective and often comment on the wrongness of an act you are about to commit it's all very good for the immersion but is it an AI fail or glitch when they simply "push" you into a group of mobs when you are BOTH supposed to be in sneak mode? Harsh, very harsh. I mostly avoided stealthy missions for this reason, my followers would often rush in or Frost would appear out of no where and kill everything anyway.

Which one are you again?

So I decided to get hitched and reap the rewards and joys of matrimony. Mostly the rewards. A homecooked meal and 200 gold a day? Where do I sign up? Best thing is my handsome beardy man is a Training Vendor, which means I can buy skills then get my monies back from trading inventories with my spouse! Another great thing is that you can go Skyrim weeks without seeing them and they don't throw a hissy fit, unlike the many wenches in the Fable games.

Just Google "Skyrim Landscapes" and you'll find some of the best in game screenshots of the world you traverse on your adventures. I have dubbed the landscape "a treat on the senses" as it is truly amazing. a lot of hard work has gone in the the look and feel of the environment and when your spending many many hours of your life in a fantasy world you want it to look real damn good. And real. Which it does spectacularly, from snow capped mountains, stormy seas and even the scale of the cities are amazing. Bethesda never fails to impress when it comes to environment design. The only thing they could have kept on par is the enclosed spaces to match the overwhelming feeling of "awe" for their outside spaces. Objects or characters trying to interact with their environment in a small cave or house just repeated the same glitches often found in Oblivion and spaces often looked unfinished and blocky, not to mention a whole area of the map with nothing in it.

GLITCHES! Bugs, objects colliding at incredible speeds, cows falling out of the sky, broken spawns...the list goes on for the many glitches found throughout the game and it's a shame they feel like the same known glitches experienced in Oblivion and I'd imagine it's predecessors too. It spoils your fun and sometimes you just have to say "come on guys didn't you fix this from last time?" too much effort and time spent on making this game look good they forgot about making it FUNCTION? I'd understand if there were new bugs but not the same ones overlooked? 

Overall, it looks amazing, wild and the freedom very much appeals to me. Character interactions could be improved, hell their AI could be improved greatly and more options to tell your followers what to do. Maybe go as far as mixing some RTS style commands for combat? The game is distracting, like I mentioned earlier, to the point where it really does defer from the main story line. Maybe it's my innate curiosity and gaming style but I ended up getting really lost sometimes and "lost" from the story too. Doing all those other quests and challenges meant no real progression and it got to the point where I had clocked over 100 hours of game time and no sense of achievement. Also when I did follow the story I found it led you to large open areas with nothing in them, which from the start made me feel like i was testing an unfinished game.

In the end i can say I very much liked this game but I did not LOVE it, primarily because I never finished the game due to my brother wanting his copy back. I don't think I'll be rushing back in to it either.

Gaming Lots

I guess this is just a check in. I know I said I would be blogging lots but it takes a lot of motivation to keep this thing going especially when there's new games in the house! I've recently started playing Skyrim, Dragon Age 2 and a co-op playthrough of Borderlands 2 with Ingo. So busy busy busy.

I've also been looking through Superfly, my old rescued laptop drive  for articles to share with you and boy did I save a lot of crap. Why we keep things from years after university I have no idea. Did I think I needed them for some reason? I guess if I transfer them to here they would be useful but severely outdated. I have found one presentation from a games company conducting research about how girls game and it looks like it was written by someone who didn't even go out and do the work themselves and didn't really like the figures so just made it up. If I can find a way to put it on here I will do. It's laughable. I got a lot of stuff that may be of interest to anyone searching keywords for essays and such like. Maybe. 

"Our Adventure Begins"

No not in the way that you think.

I've always tried being a girly girl since I was a kid joining in the various activities of singing, dancing, school yard games etc although not so much dress up with dolls, they freaked me out too much. But mummy had this cool box that you could plug into the TV and play games on a little cassette tape thing. Ah the Amstrad ZX Spectrum.

Recently celebrated it's 30^th Anniversary on St Georges Day

Image by Google

Best game was Treasure Island Dizzy. I'm sure we had a space invaders style game and Tetris but my mother and I are in a debate about this (as I'm writing in fact). As I got older, Birthday and Christmas gifts expanded to make up, hair accessories, anything with pink on it, my keyboard and the SEGA Mega Drive. Not just for me mind. I realise only now that my parents did make our console gaming a family affair. Me and my younger brother bonded over the classics Sonic, Streets of Rage, Dizzy (again!) and Bubsy the Bobcat. Let's pause while you reminisce.

Me at Christmas circa  late1990's?

Then you got older and school did that girls only P.E sessions where they made you do gymnastics or netball. But what you really wanted to do was go beat the lads at hockey or football. So you ask to go do that and you nearly, “nearly” break someone's collar bone so they ask you to no longer participate in P.E. Benched. Me? But I'm so sweet (awesome) and lovely (badass).

Again, Birthday rolls over and you get a Sony Playstation! Full with games and a cheat cartridge! Wow. My little brother was so jealous he got one for his birthday 6 months later. We collected the Playstation Magazine with the demo discs every month! Ah man my parents are so good to us. I have to say again it was a very family orientated activity we would rearrange the furniture in the living room and play a tennis game or virtual pool. I really enjoyed: Hogs of War, Alien Trilogy, Discworld Noir, Driver, Silent Hill, most driving games, Bubsy 3D (of course), Broken Sword, and not ashamedly Digimon. Throw in a few PC games in there too like the rest of the Discworld series, Myst, and yeah some Hentai dating sims which opened the world of consequential dialogue options for a new style of RPG, if you will. Ahem.

X-Change 2: A guy gets turned into a girl due to a crazy science experiment and is finds himself in embarrassing situations. Pic from MobyGames.com

That was a boyfriend who suggested I play those types of games, for his own amusement? Probably.. In my teens I guess I played games to appease my male friends, since being a girl sometimes you got left out sitting reading comics in the corner. This was a time where boys started to integrate with our group and had an influence on what we would do. So one day I thought fuck it and picked up the controller and never looked back.

In my early twenties I met a guy who was heavily into a little known game called World of Warcraft. In all honesty he was into ALOT of games, obsessed with getting 120% trophies on the ps3 etc. I sat by his side for many a year watching him play a variety of PC and console games. Some of which I thoroughly enjoyed. It wasn't until after 2 years he actually let me play WoW.. I wasn't all that bothered about it at first since we shared his PC so I was never on it for more than an hour at a time, he got tired of watching me play so would take over. Until I got my own laptop and my very own copy of the game.

Oh holy hell I was hooked.

I was so engrossed in the whole concept of this fantasical world. I based my final year dissertation on it. Yes. That's right kids. Social Identity and Online Gaming was what I based a year and a half's work on AND I got to play a game for social science! Cybersociology became my passion especially anything related to the medium of computer gaming and the notion of gender-swapping, mechanics of AI emotions, game addiction, online communities and gaming being a social group activity. I have been reading and collecting articles on each of these subjects that I will share with you in future.

This stems from when I lived with Trophy boy there was up to 5 different people living together in student accommodation and at some point two consoles or a pc combo would be hooked up to multiple TV's and monitors and someone would be playing a game: the whole house would join in. Trophy boy did open my eyes to a new world of gaming and the negative side too. The obsession. How there is a fine line between hardcore and health risk. Sadly we were not meant to be but if he ever reads this he would be pleased to know he has ruined me for any other man after him. And my prospective dating conversations.

Pic unrelated. Or is it? 

I had no idea you could get this perk. Sorry Moira.

Chances are, now, I have played or seen played every game released the past 5 years, know how to get all the trophies/achievements and can probably play the game better than you thanks to his training. Good times. Thanks man. 

I recently came across something about why girls feel the need to announce to the world that they are geeks, gamers, nerds etc. It's true we shouldn't feel the need to scream to the universe about the lives we lead, but we all have a voice and EVERYONE feels the need to express it. Isn't that all this is? Just to add another label to ourselves that isn't just “woman”. Some deeper socio-psychology going on there me thinks.

I quite possibly have been influenced more by the boys in my life than the women, when it comes to finding my likes and dislike in games, sci-fi, music etc. Some may say that leads to my lack of femininity or sensitivity to certain things, the tomboy from my teens showing through? Maybe. But the women of my life have influenced me in different ways. My mother was the one with the Spectrum remember? I will talk about some of these women in later articles.

Now I'm 24 I have the best of both worlds. I can quite happily sit with my male friend leading him through Resident Evil 5 one day and enjoying planning my cousin's Disney Princess wedding the next.

Don't get me wrong I still know all the words to Dirty Dancing, most of the choreography to the Spice Girls videos from the 90's and I like watching tat films for shits and giggles. Yeah so I didn't get a Gameboy and I didn't play Mario. So I've never completed a Final Fantasy game (there's a story behind that). Tough shite. I enjoyed the games I played, with my family, and yeah they weren't “hardcore” that doesn't mean I'm completely devoid of the gaming culture. Everyone starts off differently but they all end up playing Warcrack anyway.

Which brings me to next time...

A true life encounter

p.s i have no idea what is going on with the formatting :(