Day Zero

"Preparation"

There's nothing like being prepared for anything. Sometimes you pack things you might not need or think not to bother because what ridiculous scenario will come up where i will need a pair of wire cutters, duct tape and a small can of WD40 when I'm going into hospital? I have learned, from my wonderful partner, that those ridiculous situations always crop up when you forget to pack those very essential items. And no, I haven't packed those things because I know He will have them on him anyway.

So for about 5 days prior to my surgery I've had to bathe in an anti-microbial wash provided by the Nurse to prevent the spread of MRSA. I even got a nify diagram to show my how to use it and wash myself with it. Smarts. It doesn't smell of anything and it's great from cleansing all those blackheads and oily skin. Might keep some saved for those damn stress spots I'm prone to when Insomnia kicks in after taking Tramadol all day. 

As well as packing some essentials for an overnight stay and maybe the weekend, part of my preparation has been, well, consoling my friends. I really appreciate them worrying about me it's nice to know that people care about me. But, shouldn't they be consoling me? I'm actually really okay about getting the surgery. It's been on the cards for about 7 months now, I've had time to come to terms with it, since it's happening to ME. But for some people, I love and care about deeply, it has had a funny affect on them. I don't feel the need to react in such a way to worry myself or cry myself to sleep.

I didn't choose for this to happen to me.

If I don't do this my condition will get worse and I will end up with the hips of a 70 year old woman before I'm 30. What am I waiting for exactly if I post-pone this? My life can't pick itself back up again until this is done. At the moment my recovery is in limbo, except it won't get any better without this surgery and yes there is a small chance it won't do anything at all. I am willing to take that chance and kick it in the balls. I want my life back. And if this is the only way to do it then fine, lets do it!

Still busy packing at the moment. I'm taking my own teabags dammit!

I have to leave a parting note to say Thank You to all my friends who have sent lovely messages to me over this past week and honestly, I am truly grateful. Love you guys. 

See you later, Keep Smiling.